No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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