I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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