I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
