Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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