and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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