I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
