Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize