I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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