Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
