dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
