peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
