She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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