Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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