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• (623): View more from Arizona

  Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.

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• (619): View more from California

  I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.

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• (418): View more from Quebec

  You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.

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