this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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