You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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