forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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