I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
