It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
