about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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