i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
