You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
