Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
