break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
