Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
