In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
