Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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