the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
