So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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