My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
