u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
