New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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