Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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