my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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