He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
