I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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