let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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