Say something about gay babies.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
