Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
