Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize