I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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