Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
