We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
