You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
