You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
