Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
