cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
