i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
