what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
