I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
