those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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