Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
