Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just googled if crying burns calories
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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