Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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