Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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