He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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