grandma shit on top of the toilet
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
