i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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