he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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