if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
